This is not to say that I dislike my work schedule, or that it is, normally, unfair. The reason I worked so many days straight is that my coworkers variously all had family emergencies, children, etc, leaving me the only able bodied and in town person capable of working every day since last thursday.

But they’re back now, and I get my much deserved, and much needed, days off.

Which means, You may see me spar, and I will doubtless continue to lose, but, at least I’ll be losing at the same system I learned, rather than struggling to learn a new, unbalanced one.

EA

I feel bad for not writing more, since, you know, I started this with high intentions, and held forth on subjects, large and small.

However, without sparring time, due to the cursed kick bug (still waiting for that fix to drop. When’s the next server update?), and the lack of much ‘life’ time, RL, SL, or Other, has led to me dropping the ball on this.

Not that I had much to say that anyone hadn’t heard. But I hope you’ve enjoyed my rants and raves.

I don’t intend to stop this entirely, but it’ll be on haitus a few weeks, at least until the kick bugs are fixed.

You can possibly tell that I feel more human, by the far more lucid tone of my writings, and my more than monosyllabic vocabulary. It is my hope that as my training term continues, I’ll find myself able to function better.

I am working, since it’s a far more reasonable a project, on an RPG of the pen and paper variety. Perhaps I can share more details with you some day soon.

EA

It’s taken me a whole week to be able to stay up a whole 3 hours after work.

This getting up at 6 am thing really sucks.

I started my new job today.

It’s awesome, and I’m having a blast, even if it is long hours, and deeply tiring.

However, it’s surprising how exhausted I am. I haven’t had any time for anything lately, not even blogging.

Hopefully, this weekend, I’ll be able to put in some serious hours.

I was overjoyed to see the post on Robby’s blog that the kick bug was fixed, but no such luck, I have discovered it was a mispost on the Linden’s part.

I guess that’s a good thing though. I wouldn’t have gotten to spar until this weekend anyway.

Be well, all, and I’ll be back soon.

EA

Second Life is a wonderful platform for builders and programmers to produce a game such as C:SI. It’s got a robust scripting language, a persistent environment, and a wide userbase.

However, It also has problems. It’s physics engine is buggy, its script speed is fairly slow, the servers are less than stable, and all in all, it’s amazing that it functions as well as it does.

Reflex based games rely on relative lag being somewhat similar, which due to distance from server, and any number of black magic factors, is hardly ever the case, leading to lag frustration.

Also, the high video cost of SL as an environment means that few people can run the game without FPS issues, even if the server is behaving. I know I can’t, and I have a fairly decent video card. It even runs Bioshock on medium graphics. But I’ve got my SL sliders flatlined, and Av impostors off to save me from the laggyness, and I still have about 25-30 fps STANDING STILL and watching a fight. When I move, this can vary anywhere from 25-15, depending on my oppoents dress and hairstyle.
You won’t ever catch me bitching after a fight though, because these things are fairly constant. Everyone has the same sort of problems with SL, and even if they didn’t….

I choose to play the game.

That’s right. I, knowingly, and willingly, subject myself to glitchy servers, random FPS flatlines, physics engine bugs, and ugggggly graphics, because I like this game. I like C:SI as a system.

Thinking about this for a while, and looking over Robby’s blog, I’ve decided to try to look at Source (valve) as a moddable platform, with the intent to see if I can figure out enough to make it into a valid swordfighting engine.

Probably nothing will come of it.

But it’s an interesting side project.

Anyone who has any insight into the mod process, or knows anything about Source, animations, or anything else that I’ll need for this project, please, feel free to drop me a comment.

I don’t intend to abandon SL. But I thought, you know, if I could make a stable, server based swordfighting game, I might as well try it.

Don’t get too excited. I start projects like this all the time. I’ve never finished a whole lot.

EA

Buy it.

Why? Well, let’s begin with the fact that the game is fun, and challenging, and trains all manner of cross useful reflex and thought process oriented skill bases.

Let’s move on to the fact that it’s well made, and pretty, and that it has a clear progression system based on the challenges you complete.

Let’s finish off with the fact that it includes a section for guided meditation.

What? That’s right. This game, available on the Wii, and cheaper for the computer, actually will help you set aside time to meditate. Now, you don’t have to. It’s not required by the game. But it is a good guided meditation induction, it has a silent meditation with a pretty background, and most of all, it is awesome that any game, for any reason, would include a meditation section.
I bought the game last night on a whim. You see, I’m an impulse buyer and, oh, yeah, 10 dollar games are my weakness.

So I bought it, whee, yay, and I opened it up, and it would only let me do two activities, and I thought to myself, “Huh. Well, maybe that’s just the way it starts out..” so I played through it, doing the Koi, and the curse inducing Hoshi catching flies challenge. Let me tell you, it took me all night to get decent, and all day to finish swarm sort, and I finished with one, count it, one whole second left.

And then it told me that to get more, I should buy the game. WHAT WHAT?

That’s right. It had opened up as the Demo the first time.

So that work I just put in, poof, gone, up in smoke. Cursing, I renamed myself. And then I clicked on Meditation, because I was pissed, and I wanted one good reason why I shouldn’t be yelling at someone.

Holy cow.

That’s the first time I’ve sat down and meditated in weeks, and let me tell you, it’s almost worth the loss of data to clear my head so completely.

Now, I’m still annoyed at the game, and so I warn you, Don’t do that stupid chopstick challenge, if it loads up as the demo. Quit, reload, whatever, but dear god, don’t be a sucker like me.

Just.. get it. Play it. It won’t replace C:SI, but I wholey approve.

EA

Had I been born a mere two hundred years earlier, you would have found me leading troops into battle, or teaching a martial art. You would have found me a footsoldier or a general.

What makes a warrior?

Violence is one aspect of it. The most frightening. Every warrior does violence at some point, the willingness to, the capability to harm another, is a large part of what makes a warrior a warrior. And let’s be honest, not everyone is capable. Most people would rather not fight, or only fight if they are frightened. Warriors are made from people who have a certain temperament which allows them to do violence without regrets or shame, for the most part.

Bushido, every system of honour, chivalry, and duty, exists to harness this violence, and make warriors into Humans. My concept of humanity is a person who knows themself. Anyone can be a brute, a beast by nature, following instincts. Anyone can go through life with their head down, following lust and desire. Anyone can go through life, never opening their eyes, and learning anything. A human is above these things, able to control their basal natures, and become more than their impulses would dictate. A human can be of any nature, and do things outside any nature. A Human can be a warrior monk, a priest of sex, anything that they turn their mind to, because they are at balance and at peace with who they are. They have faced themselves, and learned to face the world, and do what they believe needs done.

Bushido, and Chivalry, exist to take violent men, and turn them into Humans. They exist as a code of behaviour, which teaches us what is and isn’t acceptable, and how violence can be used for the benifit of ourselves, and those around us, without turning us into tyrants. The irony is, these codes eventually did make tyrants of their followers, but any system sufficiently codified becomes a societal control, rather than a true thought.

I adhere, as best I can, to my concepts of Honour, Duty, and the Correct Use of Strength. I was not a strong or violent child, and so, when I grew up rather suddenly, and became a strong adult, with a hidden temper, and an enjoyment of all things violent (Sparring, swordfighting, First person shooters, I have even served in the US military without qualm, think of me what you will.) I at first worried that I was cruel, for enjoying violent things, then worried that I would become violent without purpose. So I sought out philosophies that explained the nature of violence as a needed thing in society. And I believe it is. I believe there will always be a need of defending warriors, those willing to do violence, to defend the peaceful against those who have never become Human, and desire only to do violence for their own enjoyment. I believe that even should peace reign on earth, there will be violence, real or imagined, in this realm or a virtual one, there will be those of us who desire, and need, to fight.

So what are we fighting for?

In C:SI, we are fighting to increase our skills. To honour our names. For recognition, or for self improvement. Either way, we’re fighting because we like to fight. We like to fight without consequences, and in a situation where we can test our skills against one another in a violent moment, and learn things about ourselves. How we feel under pressure. How to stay calm, and act and react without fear of death, because death, even on screen and painless, has an impact on us. Being ‘beaten’, and ‘dying’, make us feel as if we have been conquered in a violent moment. And winning makes us feel as if we have conquered another, does it not?

And so we create clans, to teach one another to fight better, to defend our clan honour, to increase our own skills, and the skills of those around us, to be better warriors. But clans should be more than just a group of people who fight together. Clans should represent an ideal, or system of ideals. Clans should be like minded people, who fight for the same things, and desire the same things out of C:SI.

Each clan should be clear and well defined in its policies and philosophy. If your clan believes that Balance is crucial to the C:SI system, it should be clear about what weapons are unbalanced, and be clear about when and where it is acceptable to use them. A clan should teach what it is to care about the Community, or just about the Clan. A clan should give purpose to what is, in the end, a system created so that two individuals can do violence to one another.

But what of those who are in it to win it? They don’t care about skills, they just want to win, every match. They exist for that moment of conquering glee, and abhor the moment of loss, so strongly that they care not at all for the fairness or honour of the win, and turn to unbalanced weapons and seek out cheap wins.

These are not warriors. They may be fighters, they may be highly skilled, but they are not true to the spirit of Bushido, or Chivalry. They exist for self glorification, and truly, they have my pity, since they are so small and insecure that they must seek out a hole in a system to feel good about themselves.

What should we do about these people? In life, real or second, I have learned that those you are with shape your world. I do not associate myself closely with honourless people, and I don’t seek out their company. I would never suggest ignoring, or refusing to talk with these people, but nor would I invite them to be my brothers, or to spar with me regularly. I would not be in a clan, where there are people who believe that there is nothing wrong with fighting simply to win. I would not be in a clan which believed that such a philosophy was ok.

But neither would I call for such a clan to be disbanded, or ignored. These people exist. They play the game. Let them play with one another. Any clan which believes that balance is not important, that winning is everything, should say such as well. Let them espouse their philosophy that this is simply a game, and that winning is all that matters.

Let us be clear in the rules of engagement though, and certainly, let us be clear in our sportsmanship. If you do not like a weapon, or a behaviour, be of strong character, and say such things openly. Do not be afraid or timid in your beliefs. Be an honest warrior, and present who you are without fear of reproach. If you do not fight against unbalanced weapons, be unashamed to say such, and ask for a fair match. If you are not interested in honour, be unafraid to say as much openly and without malice, that you prefer to only play if you have an unfair advantage. Be clear about who you are, and what you desire in the game.

Be clear about what behaviour you expect from your peers. Associate with those who are like minded. And be clear about your honour.

This post is not about anyone in particular. You, whoever you are, are not the subject of my ire, or my scolding. I simply am making generalizations here, because I feel they need to be said.

EA

I guess we all had a chance to read Kasumi’s treatise on balance, and it was good.. so I’m not going to spend a lot of time enumerating on what it is that makes balance so important to the C:SI structure in general. For those of you who haven’t read it, I’ll just sum up.

Balance makes C:SI unique. Balance is what sets us apart from DCS, CCS, FCS, YMCS (Yo Momma’s Combat System). It makes the system unique in SL, in that balance is considered and built in to All weapons. Having a balanced weapon builds skills that leaning on unbalanced, easy weapons, does not.

That said, there are some terribly skilled people using unbalanced weapons. Not as many as there could be, but the Nagi’s long range kick, the BD’s excessive speed, if you put these in the hands of a skilled fighter who can bring them out, without exposing themselves, the result is devastation. And it’s demoralizing, but not just to beginners, but to experienced players, who find themselves suddenly struggling against their peers, because of either moral or financial objection to new weapons.

What is Balance?

Balance is Equality over Time. That is to say, if you put any two weapons in C:SI in the hands of equally skilled user, once everyone involved knows the weapons timing, quirks, and glitches, there should be a FIFTEY PERCENT life/death rate.

That is to say, if you take two people who are equally skilled, and they kill each other 50% of the time with a sword, that rate SHOULD NOT CHANGE based on the weapon they use, be it Ninjaken, BD, Nagi, or Duals.

Obviously, there’s some difficulties in these measurements. Some weapons lend themselves to styles that some people have a harder time countering. For instance, even if you cut the kick range, the Nagi’s long swing would give me night terrors. I’m just terrible at dealing with it. But that is a personal failure. The weapon imbalance comes from having a kick range the length of its swing, and a Normal kick speed.

The ninjaken will beat you, hands down, in a combo race? Why? It can complete two combos to the price of your one. you know the solution though. We all do. BLOCK, Sukka!. This is not imbalance, because the solution is to simply play well, with a style that counters the ninjaken. Now that the kick is fixed, I feel that the ninjaken is balanced.

But people have been calling the Taketori unbalanced which I find odd, because A) The entire grid is fubarred, it’s impossible to get an accurate behavioural picture when you can’t kick properly, and B) You’re just not USED to it. People have been fighting against, and with, the take for all of what, two weeks now, and that’s just not enough time to learn, fully, its strengths and weaknesses. Unless you’re Masmako, and all your opponents used the Take.

It takes time to adjust and learn a weapon. The Take is fast, yes. The take is smooth from block and back, in part, I think, PRECISELY because it does not have auto comboing, it allows you to break anywhere to slide back into block easily, without breaking up an animation chain.

But is it faster out of block than say, the Musashi? I don’t believe it is. I think people are just unused to the weapon. I think it will take a while for the whole world to adjust, and that time is needed before calling anything unbalanced. Unless you’re Masmako, and fight a billion spars a week. Let’s see, her count today is… 790. I don’t think she sleeps. She probably knows every timing quirk, every slow second kick, fast third slash, every bit of the weapons she fights against. Because she’s put in a LOT of time on the matter.

Weapons selection, and weapons skill, depend on the style of fighter, and the skill level. Beginners will find a rough time of it using a Musashi sword, simply because the timing is different, and jump slashing, which becomes terribly important at an intermediate level, is tough with the musashi. But can it be worth it for a beginner who favours a defensive style to stick with it? Sure. Definitely. The weapon should be chosen based on the comfort of the user, whatever weapon garners you the best results for your style. That said, one should avoid leaning on an unbalanced weapon, because the results you get there are unfair, and there is no honour in that. One day, I have faith that all unbalanced weapons will be fixed and balanced. And in that time, many people will be forced to relearn a weapon where they leaned heavily on a broken system.

I’ve always tried to avoid using just one weapon. For a long time, I’d used the Ashes primarily, but not First. The first time I spar someone, I’d use the dynasty, or an archatek, when I had one, because I was trying to learn the swords. If I only used Ashes, which I knew fairly well, then I’d be losing out. I’d only be learning one sword’s strengths, and it would make me a weaker, more patterned fighter. Much like leaning on the strengths of an unbalanced weapon will build in you habits of fighting that depend on that unfair advantage, the use of a single weapon builds habits around the fair advantages of the sword. If you focus too much on a single weapon, you think too narrowly, and your style suffers.

Days like today, I wish the grid weren’t broken. I’d really like to be sparring, to try to regain the skills I’ve lost, but sadly, I’m too frustrated with the broken kick. Here’s waiting for the next server update.
EA

Like, a serious, 40 hour a week, 35k a year, 2 weeks of vacation, 401k, life health and dental insurance, sign on the dotted line, and be an adult job.

I have no idea how this could have happened. I keep waiting for someone to catch me, and tell me that I’m A) not grown up enough, or B) just not cool enough to actually get anywhere. Does that say something bad about my psychological state?

I start on Monday. Orientation. Since it’s a production facility, (I’m going to maintain equipment that Grows Semiconductors. Whee!) I’ll be working 12 hour shifts, in a funky 2/!2/3/!2/2/!3 schedule over the course of two weeks. Sounds odd, huh? Let me break it down. Out of a two week period, I will be dead to the world about 7 days of it. Luckily, this schedule gives me 7 days of free time in two weeks.

Why on earth am I writing all this in a C:SI blog?

First, I just got the confirmation that it’s real and happening, which, in spite of signing the offer letter, I had been dancing up and down with nerves about. I feel so elated right now, I could scream. Thus the need to vent, obviously, is high on the list of reasons for posting this.

Second, I’ll be around half as much, so I won’t be sparring as much. Especially at first, since I have the suspicion that 12 hour shifts are going to treat me poorly for the first month or so.

Luckily, I’ll be swapping over to my natural sleep schedule as soon as I get trained. (I love the night shift. Who in the hell decided that up and at work at 6 am was a good idea? I’d rather be sleeping. The only way to approach 6 am is from being up since 6 pm.) Once I swap, it means you’ll see much much more of me since I’ll be better able to function, at least.. Until I start school. But that’s another pointless rant without a single connection to C:SI.

EA

Of course, this would completely break C:SI. Destroy it completely. Much like changing the way the kick functions, changing the way block functions would change the entire balance of the game. But I think it would be much more interesting if block had a length of time that it was active, but could be ‘chained’ together like kicks. Visually, it would be much more appropriate than just squatting with your sword in front of you, and becoming Invincible.

So, probably, I’d never ask for C:SI to do it…
but it would be neat if Some combat system were developed where the swords did it.

I hear (over on Robby’s Blog..) the Lindens might be fixing the KICK soon, so I may go back to sparring again soon.

I took a break after my frustration level peaked last weekend.

I’ve been struggling with a lot of things in my life lately, and the emotional stress has started to bleed into many of my passtimes. Go, C:SI, Even MMOs and CounterStrike become swiftly frustrating, and my performance suffers.

I’ve been trying to figure out a new balance, of spirituality, and physicality, after four long years of having very little spiritual balance, and very little emotional balance, I’m now struggling to figure out my new place in my own mind.

I don’t think I really have any answers right now. I need to take up meditation again. I need to get back into shape. I need to calm myself more often. But often I feel as if all this is beyond me.

I guess the answer is to set up a new daily schedule that sets aside time for all these things.

Anyway. I’m rambling. I’m going to close this post before I start talking about my love life.

EA

I know why I suddenly suck. I suddenly suck because of, and this is very important, KICKS.

I’m used to trading some damage for distance, particularly when I counter slash a kick.

My style, I just realized, is built around it.

Of course, this isn’t an excuse not to adjust. It’s just something I wasn’t really thinking about. I was getting very perplexed with why my fighting style, which functioned well a few weeks ago, suddenly died like a fish out of water.

Of course, some styles are more kick happy than others. I guess in the interim of not having kick push on, I’ll just have to work with the new system, and get better at timing and countering.

Enough whining.
EA